Art Noel. I have his piano, so you could be doubly authentic if you like.

Or Jake Thackray. Nobody replaced him. Somebody needs to. The world needs Jake Thackray.

Actually, come to think of it, you'd make no money whatsoever from those two.

have been toying with fiction thoughts for same reason as GMF. lack of a character is the principal stymying(sp?) point, along with lack of plot. other than that- proceeding at speed.

perhaps the youngs pub is seeking to move into the world of banking, and took the umbrella/credit story a little too literally

How about continuing the Les McKeown thread currently all over the place. He's just about the ideal age to become a (heterosexual) pop svengali, so have him form a song and dance troupe not one million miles from the Spicies.

He falls head over heels for the (barely-legal) lead singer of course, but she, understandably repelled by him, becomes a lesbian and has an affair with Julie Burchill. (Names might need to be changed. Burchill is a respectable married woman, I think.)

Then an asteroid hits Africa, wiping out all the poverty (and people) at a stroke, so McKeown buys a sizeable chunk of what is now a crater, and discovers gold and diamonds beyond his wildest dreams. At this the lesbian lead singer decides that it's time she tried some c*ck again and falls into his manly arms and bling-covered hairy chest.

Something like that might work.

Peter, that's brilliant. I couldn't possibly steal it. Draft it up, get it out there. We need it NOW.

I was going to suggest Flanders & Swann (though Kit and the Widow sort of have that covered).

You might try Tom Lehrer though. Or Paddy Roberts (does anyone else remember Paddy Roberts?)

You could change sex (or co-opt Melanie) and do Joyce Grenfell.

Or you could emulate Peter Schickele who made a lucrative career out of the music of a composer (PDQ BacH) who never existed. You simply invent a musical icon, long-forgotten by all but you, with exactly the characteristics which best suit your composing talents. Ludwig van Formby, say.

BTW, did you know George Harrison was a huge George Formby fan? Apparently he used to go to George Formby Society annual rallies and make big donations on condition that his presence wasn't used in any publicity. While My Ukelele Gently Weeps?

Hello Rob, and tank you for that.

I don't know Paddy Roberts and will investigate - the rest of your references seem spot on to me. I detect a mini-Lehrer revival going on.

Ludwig van Formby - hmmm...