Take it easy.

Unf he was barely conscious by the time she got there. He won't last another day.

Could have been a nicer man - he had intelligence in abundance and some culture too. Just too much hatred and frustration.

Mel was all right with him, mostly. It's her sister who's the worry. She really didn't get on with him and if he dies by the time she gets there today there may be some unhappy fallout.

Very sorry to hear about the multiplicitous stresses. Hope some peace comes for everyone. Also hope smallest family member is better now.

Thank you for that, Megan.

Smallest better. Oldest no longer with us, as of about three this morning.

Oh what a sad story. Wishing so much love to the two women at this time. I missed my own father's death a couple of years ago, but they hadn't tried very hard to inform me. We'd drifted apart, lost contact. He missed me out of his will coincidentally, so strangely that made things easier. No love on either side. I hardly ever think of him.

Thanks for the wishes, Peter.

F-i-l dominated the lives of three women, his wife and their two daughters. He didn't seem to do any of them any good. Dominant and intolerant, retreating slowly from a world that refused to obey him. Promising start as a very bright boy with a gift for music. But something went wrong and I've spent some years trying to spot exactly what. In many ways an extreme character, and it's difficult for those close to extremes to realise those extremes are not the norm. The work goes on.

I have read about your father before Peter. Sad story too but it sounds pretty much behind you. I look forward to that day on my wife's family's behalf.

Certain parallels there with my own late father - especially when you say "It's difficult for those close to extremes to realise those extremes are not the norm." It would be so much more comforting if his impending death could have provided an opportunity for tying up all the loose ends, for death-bed reconciliation and last minute redemption - but death generally doesn't work like that - and working through the messy unresolved issues, and understanding how the map of family relationships has been redrawn, can sometimes be a long journey with all manner of unpredictable twists and turns. For now though, I hope that the funeral will provide some measure of comfort/catharsis/closure, and that your wife and her family are bearing up OK in the meantime.

Thanks, Mike.

There's still probably as much relief as anything. It was peaceful, they were all there. And he actually wanted to die - they have discovered a living will written in 1998 which says so explicitly.

As yet no one has moved on. But I suspect there is a fair amount of work to be done, yet.